Flying Without Wings
by magic-reeni
Summary: How do you save someone who doesn't wish to be saved? To feed somebody who tastes only tastes ash in their mouths? Alone. Desolate. Without hope. Everything Harry feels and believes and only two people who realize the danger he's in.
1. Hate Me

Harry Potter sat in the window of the tallest tower of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The wind was playing with his long curls as his feet dangled off the edge of the window. It was only up here that he could finally be himself. It was only in that tower, staring out the window at the vast landscape in front of him that he could really be honest with himself about everything that was happening. Without his friends around and all his classmates and without the pressing things going on in his life could Harry Potter really think about the things he wanted; wanted or didn't want. Like how he wanted to find real love like Ron and Hermione or all the rest of his friends who were now in serious relationships. It was the beginning of his seventh year and he hadn't so much as a flicker of want towards anyone after his short and uneventful fling with Cho Chang. Or how much he didn't want to be famous or have to be destined to kill a certain dark wizard. To be famous only made getting the things he wanted harder on him. All the people who wanted him happened because of the title that came with him.

The wind picked up again and Harry closed his eyes and enjoyed the breeze. Just as he opened his emeralds again he saw an owl fly by and land in a nearby tree, pruning its feathers. He wished he could just sprout wings from his back and fly away as well. He both envied and hated his snowy owl Hedwig for just being able to glide out the window and into the unending sky.

Just as he was about to slide backward on the stone sill of the window and head downstairs for dinner he heard the door creak open and he waited a moment longer. He wasn't expecting anyone to meet him, he never did when he went up to the North Tower to have some quality Harry time, but he would run into someone at some point. Glancing over his shoulder, Harry caught a glimpse of striking blonde and he breathed lightly out of his mouth, leaning his head back against the side of the window. "Malfoy," he greeted quietly.

It was the third time they'd run into each other like this. The first time they just glared at each other and went on their way. The second Harry inquired what Draco did in the tower and he was answered with a similar answer to what he did up there. This third time Harry just nodded at Draco and walked past him, the blonde doing the same. They had both come to respect each other's privacy, each having some need to be alone for some part of the day before everything collapsed on top of them.

B R E A K

A few hours later Draco found himself lying on the sofa in his godfather's living room, sipping on a cold glass of orange juice enjoying the silence of the evening.

"I ran into Potter again," he noted thoughtfully as the door to the rooms opened. He knew it would be none other than his godfather since nobody else was idiot enough to go into his rooms as boldly as Draco did.

Making a noncommittal sound, Severus walked across the room to sit down in his armchair, grabbing a bottle of scotch and glass from the top of the fireplace on the way. The Potions Master had long since known that Harry Potter went up to the North Tower. It was his job to know since the Headmaster charged him with watching after him. It seemed Dumbledore wasn't the only one to notice the Boy-Who-Lived was a bit off lately, not just with his studies even with Hermione Granger as his best friend, but also in everyday life. Skipping meals to be by himself and daydreaming with the saddest of expressions. Even Severus himself had to admit that Potter definitely wasn't his cheerful and carefree, rule-breaking self. He would have to watch Harry Potter in hopes of figuring out what was going through that head of his before something happened that was irreversible.

Draco looked up finally, staring into his lover's dark eyes. Usually when he did this he could feel his body working against him, smoldering and ultimately wanting to be claimed by his touch over and over again, but this time was different. His mind was trembling of things that might happen if someone were to be left alone for that long. "Something bad is going to happen soon, isn't it, Sev?" He hadn't meant to ask, but what would've happened if he hadn't brought it up. Were they just going to ignore the fact that they may be the only two people in the school who truly noticed that Potter…Harry…wasn't just trying to get alone time? Something very serious was going on that they had yet to discover what that something was.

The Potions Professor turned away. What could he say to answer his younger lover? Nothing. There wasn't a thing he could say that would make both of them feel at ease, nothing that they didn't already know at any rate. So, instead, he answered the best way he could. "Yes." Quiet, short; the one word alone made their hearts way heavier. _What's going on with you Potter? _

B R E A K

Harry was tired. No. He was beyond tired: he was exhausted. To top it off, he felt confined and suffocated. Having already thrown his covers off him and toed his socks off he couldn't help the feeling that it was continuously becoming harder and harder for him to breathe. He lay on his bed, wearing only his green plaid pajama bottoms, with the curtain open and he had long since opened the window to let the cool night breeze in. Glancing at his watch he observed as the seconds ticked by until 2.36 read 2.37am. Sighing in defeat, he dropped his arm over his tired, red-rimmed eyes and tried to take a deep breath. Another sleepless night. The last time this happened he'd been late to Transfigurations and even fallen asleep in Professor Trelawney's class, thankfully having taken a table in the back where her owlish eyes hidden behind glasses that made them seem even bigger couldn't see him. That was yesterday.

Pulling a baggy grey hooded sweatshirt over his head and tugging his sneakers on his feet he carefully and quietly walked from the room and downstairs to the portrait. Harry didn't bother with his father's invisibility cloak anymore. Having had so many sleepless nights in a row made it easy for him to memorize where teachers were at which times. For instance, he knew that by the time he reached the staircase with the one trick step towards the bottom that he'd have enough time to duck into a shadowed crevice just as Professor Flitwick strolled by to head up the stairs and that by the time he made it to the Great Hall that Professor Snape just started into the dungeons to finish off his rounds. The green-eyed teen continued walking down the pathway leading towards the gates until he reached the crooked tree halfway down that twisted around itself before leaning over to cast its overbearing shadow across the dirt path. Veering left he used a much less worn path towards the lake and took a seat on a rock that had a flat surface with a slight dip in the back which made for a perfect backrest.

It was there that Harry Potter usually spent his tireless nights. The first night it happened he was glad to actually have this alone time. It had also been on the same day he'd first skipped a meal to go up to the North Tower. By now he'd lost count of how many times ago that was, but he knew that was months ago. Even though his eyes were rimmed with loss of sleep he found he could no longer will the comfortable unconsciousness to come. The same as his stomach whenever it growled and he tried to put food in his mouth, the taste came more like ashes to his tongue and he couldn't will anymore than that bite before he stopped.

Having never quite figured out what was wrong with himself until several nights ago he'd actually thought about things that had always flitted around in his mind before. It was the day he'd caught Ron and Hermione, his two closest and best of friends, snogging in an alcove on a lazy Saturday afternoon. They'd been embarrassed and retreated quickly enough but it was the pain that Harry himself had never had the joy to experience something like that with anybody. Cho Chang had crossed his mind, but they'd only shared a couple kisses and they'd never really meant anything to him. He'd come to that realization quite harshly and he'd refused to actually look at Chang for weeks before she finally wrote him a note saying that there were no hard feelings. He still had yet to start talking to her again and that was two years ago. No, it wasn't just the lack of a true heartfelt relationship that his soul was craving: it was the lack of having one but knowing he couldn't have it.

The last time Harry Potter had truly slept at night he'd been having another nightmare about the Dark Lord. He saw hundreds of people slaughtered with a swish of a wand and even more tortured until they could no longer scream. There was so much blood that Harry could feel the coppery stickiness on his very skin, crawling into his core and soaking his clothes in a heavy bloodbath. When he'd woken he was in the hospital wing with all his bunkmates surrounding him and Madam Promphrey hurrying over with a vile of yellowish-clear liquid. She poured it down his throat and the burning acid taste of it he felt completely before it settled in his stomach. It hadn't been until hours later that he realized Ron had tried to awaken him for class and when he started screaming he'd called for help. He hadn't truly woken up until well past noon that day.

His heart was weighing heavily on him at that point and each day it seemed like another few pounds was added to the growing load. Harry briefly thought at one point that because of that last dream his subconscious was too afraid to sleep anymore and so he was kept awake no matter the exhaustion he felt, but he was sure that wasn't the right answer either. No, on the day he'd run into Ron and Hermione accidentally he'd found the correct answer. After his friends at run off green eyes had been staring into his reflection of the window when it dawned off him why it was that his life had been forced into disarray. He watched with his mind's eye all the people from that dream and previous visions that had been brutally murdered, tortured for something they couldn't control, his friends who'd found someone to love and waved it in front of him on a dangling hook that was too high for him to grab. Harry Potter's very soul knew what was coming and had shut him down from the inside out. The core of his being could feel Voldemort reaching out for him, an ugly, crusted and scabbed hand clutching at his inner being and tearing away everything Harry felt he could ever live for. The very thing that defined him had lost the will to live.

The teen had cried that night. He'd cried until a headache pulsed angrily behind his eyes. Until the sun peaked over the far mountains and casted its reflection on the lake he sat in front of, glaring into his soaked and red-edged eyes. Harry had never felt so scared in his life. He'd wanted to go to his friends, for them to hug him and tell him that everything would be alright. The teen didn't allow himself to. They'd just gotten together and were happy and carefree with each other, not noticing their third man was out. He wasn't about to intrude on the haven they'd found in each other's arms. So, instead, he would bear this pain himself and go on living in everyone's eyes as the person they expected. He couldn't go into a relationship for it wouldn't be fair to his partner if they were to get close and then he ended up dying in the fight. Confidence had long since left him, when he tried to think of how he could fight the Dark Lord, it was as if all the spells he once knew had left him and he was just waving a little stick around, a little boy pretending in his fantasies that magic truly existed if just for a brief time.

Was it too much to ask for someone to ask how he felt once in a while? Too much for a bit of comfort, to let him know that he could get through this? No, even the teachers knew something that they thought he didn't. Sometimes he would catch them. He'd be sitting with his friends in the Great Hall and he would glance up, catching the sadness and uncertainty in their eyes as the thought that Harry Potter couldn't defeat the Dark Lord reflected in their faces and drooped expressions. It wasn't a look of worry for the boy himself though, but would happen to everyone when the malicious wizard was victorious.

Tears streaked down his face, much like they did every morning as he thought about what he could do to maybe bring himself a little hope. The tears fell because his soul was fully convinced there was no way out of his impending doom. Harry Potter was going to die at Lord Voldemort's hands and he could hear the imaginary ticking of the seconds as his life dwindled by on borrowed time.

B R E A K

"Where were you, mate," Ron asked, knowing full well by now that Harry wouldn't answer him. He shrugged, thinking Harry had another nightmare that left him waking up several hours before, and left to get dressed.

He both envied and hated the redhead for his simple mindedness. The same as he did for everyone else. How nice would it be to be ignorant of the war raging on around him? To not have to be at the center of it all, having to rid the world of the Dark Lord? To just put the duty on someone else's shoulders and let them deal with? Harry knew he could never be that lucky. No one would say it, but they were glad they didn't have to deal with the nightmares or the scar that would signal when Voldemort was nearby; the weight of both the magical and muggle world literally on their shoulders.

Harry made his way down to the Great Hall and watched from the corners as students poured in for breakfast. The thought of the taste of ash in his mouth again made his stomach churn with both sickness and hunger. He opted for hunger and turned on his heel, deciding to wait until he could no longer hold out for food in his system.

B R E A K

Ice blue eyes were concentrated on the lone figure that walked away from the dining hall. _He skipped again _Draco thought, knowing the green-eyed savior must be on the brink of starvation. Having not seen the teen actually eat anything for days, and he often paid attention to the aloof teen's habits on the instructions of his lover, he knew that his stomach must hate him. _What is it that's keeping you so distant, Potter? _Deciding he could afford to skip a meal as well he pushed away from the table. It was time to move things along faster. Before leaving the Great Hall he caught the dark eyes of his lover and nodded his head just gently, seeing the return gesture before slipping out of the room. He knew exactly where to go.

B R E A K

"You're early," Harry remarked, voice soft and tired. His feet were dangling out the window once more and his back rested gently against the side edge of the window with his head lying against the stone brick with a heaviness that told Draco that he'd been by the lake all night again. Goosebumps were rising on the flesh of his arms and there was a slight shiver to his shoulders as he watched through his peripheral vision as the Slytherin made his entry.

Stepping into the room, the blonde shrugged off his cloak, at one point he would've surprised himself by his actions, and draped the heavy material across Harry's shoulders. "Why are you doing this to yourself, Potter?"

Green eyes widened just barely and neither said anything for a long time as the teen took the question in. Why would Malfoy care? Nobody else does. No one else even knows Harry goes up there. Turning back to the scenery, Harry shrugged. It wasn't really lying, not in his mind. Unconsciously he tugged the cloak tighter around his shoulders and wished…he didn't know what he wished but he definitely wanted something different to happen. He was tired of the routines, tired of acting like someone he wasn't, plain exhausted of how everything worked around him. "Tired," he repeated, though he didn't realize he said it aloud until the figure behind him stepped closer.

"If you wouldn't spend all your nights down by the lake, you could probably sleep better," Draco insisted. He'd broken the rules, he knew. The unspoken policy between them that kept their privacy just that: private. There was no way the blonde could help his lover keep an eye on Harry and just watch from a distance as the Boy-Who-Lived faded away to just a shell of his former existence. The dark-haired teen didn't seem to mind though. In fact, he seemed almost relieved that someone had actually noticed enough to ask, even if it was someone he used to call 'enemy'.

He blinked out at the vast distance, listening but not hearing Draco's words. He understood what he meant, but the blonde couldn't understand why it was Harry did what he did. Who would understand what he was going through? Certainly not the son of a death eater, whether the teen was supportive or not. The curiosity though, whether it happened to have been concern or not, made Harry realize just what a toll his sleepless nights and daily hunger was costing him. The edges of his vision fuzzed briefly and he let the welcome euphoria of sleep finally claim his body. He slipped backwards, feeling the stone of the window rub against his back before gravity gave way to his heavy form. Harry was out, not caring that he could've been hurt when he hit the hard floor of the North Tower and not realizing that his once most-hated rival had caught him as he drifted into a much needed rest.

Draco smirked to himself as he caught the brunette, knowing he was unconscious before he even fell into his arms. _Maybe now we can get some answers straight from the source _he thought as he used his foot to nudge open the door. It would be a bit of walk and he was grateful that everyone would still be in the Great Hall having breakfast so he wouldn't have to worry about anyone seeing them. Seeing Draco showing his caring side or witnessing Harry in his state of emotional and physical weakness. He knew the teen's scars weren't skin deep. He'd known just by one glance into his dark green eyes that his pain went much further and he would take a lot of work to bring back even a small glimmer of what he used to be.

B R E A K

Setting his light charge on the bed, covering him with a heavy blanket to chase away the ever constant chill of the dungeons, Draco couldn't help but stare at the tense face. Even in his unconscious slumber the turmoil of his life didn't recede from his face. With nothing else to do and already deciding he'd skip breakfast, the blonde sat down on a nearby chair and waited. Severus would be along soon and together they could figure out what to do. How do you save someone who doesn't want to be saved? That was question that kept flitting back to the Prince of Slytherin. In the brief conversation he'd had with Harry before he slipped from the window that was the one thing he had read from his eyes. _How long have you felt like this? _

The door cricked open and the Potions Master swept through, locking it behind him. He didn't have any morning classes to attend to and his first priority was finding his adored blonde. He usually was sitting on the couch waiting for him, but this time was different. He was there, but he wasn't on the sofa. Glancing around with his black eyes he noticed the door to his bedroom was left ajar. _There_ he told himself. Stepping into his and Draco's sleeping quarters he immediately took note of the dark-haired teenager sleeping under a feather-filled duvet on their bed. The blonde, after a short scan of the room, was sitting just a couple feet away in a rocking chair.

"He's sleeping," Severus noted.

Draco nodded, cracking his blue eyes open to stare at the man he called lover. "He just fell," he explained. He told him how he was in the North Tower and that, after asking why he behaving uncharacteristically that Harry Potter for just a second received a look that even Draco had never seen before. It was a mixture of both surprise and relief, but from what the Slytherin hadn't yet figured out. "Then his eyes slipped closed and he was out before he was even falling out the window."

They wouldn't wake the troubled young man for his classes. The most important thing for him at the moment was rest and after so many sleepless nights neither were very eager to wake him.

As much as Draco wanted to stay, however, and help his lover with their self-assigned duty towards the sleeping teenager on their bed he didn't argue when it was clear he had to leave for his own classes. That was how things worked with their relationship. With anyone else he could be cocky and rude, sneer all he wanted and act like he shagged all the girls in Hogwarts with his immature personality, but with Severus it was different. Severus was the one who knew the truth. Behind closed doors Draco had all the troubles of any person his age. He thought things through and was naturally a very quiet and mature person whose virginity he'd given to the Potions Master and the Potions Master alone. He and the older man hardly ever argued or discussed pointless topics that hadn't even needed to be brought up. That was the way they preferred it and for a year and a half that was the way things stayed.

As the door closed behind his young other half, Severus wondered just how long it would be before his charge actually woke. He contemplated the odds of the well-known dreams plaguing Harry Potter every night, especially the one dream that he'd had the first of many nights sitting by the lake in sleeping pants and a sweatshirt.

Of course he'd known. He knew all along that Harry Potter was out of bed at night for several months now. He knew exactly when he crept through the Great Hall shortly after he'd passed through it. Just as he knew that he spent most meals in the North Tower sitting in the window thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. He'd been charged with watching the teen carefully before that last dream hit him. The one person who didn't know though was Dumbledore.

The old man was convinced that Harry was starting to take his role in the war more seriously. He told Severus not to interfere should he see the teen act oddly and the professor did as was told. By the dead expression and the emerald eyes that dulled to a mere unimpressive green he knew that Albus was wrong. Harry may have thinking about the war, but he wasn't planning anything strategic that would help him win or coming up with a plan so full proof that the war would be over in a measly few seconds like the headmaster thought with his wishful thinking. No, Harry Potter was thinking about the war from a completely different angle and Severus was truly convinced that with that line of thought constantly swimming around in his head was what brought about the abrupt adjustment in Harry Potter's personality and day-to-day life.

With those views settled into his mentality, Severus predicted it to be less than an hour when the Boy-Who-Lived would wake up, startled and confused and possibly even scared. What would happen then? Even Severus couldn't know until it happened, but he ran through different scenarios in hopes that he chose the right method in order to not scare off the green-eyed savior. He didn't want to think of what would happen if the headmaster were to find out that he went against his orders to watch the boy and to not interfere. When he reported what he'd been seeing to Albus and his own opinions on what was happening his words were pushed aside as normal ways of thinking and he was clearly seeing what he wanted to see and not what was truly happening. He stopped reporting to Dumbledore after that first meeting. The old man was crazy to think that not eating and no sleep were Harry's ways of figuring out how to stop war. He also didn't want to think about what would happen if Potter ran from him should he choose the wrong way of confronting him.

He prepared for a sensitive way of how he planned to approach the boy. Moving to his small kitchenette he made a small meal, knowing that if he made anything too big the boy was liable to make himself sick. After eating so little for so long, his stomach had undoubtedly shrunken and too much food would only come out eventually and in a way that wasn't going to improve the green-eyed teen's nutrition. True to form just as he walked into his bedroom with a tray of fresh bread with melted butter and some light chicken soup the boy shot up.

Glasses askew on his face, he didn't even bother to adjust them. Harry could feel his limbs shaking and his heart was racing frantically in his chest, threatening to burst right through his ribs. The very thing that kept his wakefulness at night had weaved its way into his subconscious again. He could feel the blood on his hands from Voldemort's freshest victims. Feel it in his clothes on his skin and he urgently rubbed his arms red and tore his clothes as if they were constricting his ability to breathe. Tears leaked from his eyes unknowingly as the memories of each terror-stricken face passed by his eyes in a ghostly fashion. A young girl with wide eyes and hair done up in pigtails had been killed from the Death Eaters initial break in, exploding through the door, an older boy that had to have been her brother racing through the hallway at the sound before a curse sent his way had several slashes to his face and arms and legs, dying slowly as his blood oozed from his cuts and soaked the carpet. The parents were brutally slaughtered as well, followed by the rest of the town. Some were more horrible than others and others were quick and unintentional, much like the young girl. He'd long since stopped tearing at his own clothes and sobbed into his hands, rocking back and forth and wishing that it would all go away.

Severus watched the teen's fit from the start all the way until Harry began teetering at the fine line that defined sanity from insanity. How long could a person be an unwilling participant in a Death Eater raid, forced to watch hundreds of people slaughtered brutally for a purpose they had no will over without ever being able to lift a finger to attempt stopping the horror? He knew it was bad, but it had just gone to worse. Casting a quick warming charm on the meal and placing it on a table where it wouldn't fall over should it get hit and knocked down, the Potions Master strolled quickly to the bed and took Harry in his arms.

Sparks were his first warning when his long, potion-stained fingers tried to caress his skin. He knew that if he didn't calm the distraught teen down soon there was going to be a lot more terrible things going on than a few electric shocks though and, ignoring the magical jolts of the beginning of uncontrolled magic, he wrapped his arms around the lad and held him tightly. He was relieved when the boy uncurled from himself and then attached himself to the one person who gave him what he'd needed for months now, crying in his cloaked shoulder and hoping the solid form on his tilted world wouldn't disappear.

Without knowing how long they actually sat there, Harry Potter clinging to him desperately, the tears finally subsided. After such an emotional breakdown one would usually fall asleep, but not the green-eyed teen. He was tensed, half sprawled on the Potion Master's lap with his glasses knocked off and his eyes clenched tightly, breath coming in ragged gasps and heart still fluttering for escape in his chest. There were no words for several moments, but Severus knew he would have to say something. The only way to start Harry's healing process would have to be to say something.

A long pause went by and several scenarios about what the wrong thing or the right thing to say might be, Severus knew he would need a drink. He'd never dealt with something like this before. Sure, he'd seen his fair share of crying students, but none whose very point of stability was on the line. He'd even witnessed one of Draco's breakdowns but the blonde hadn't needed comfort like Harry did right now. It was closer to when they'd just gotten together when it had happened and Severus was too fearful of doing something that would jeopardize their fragile beginnings of a relationship that he'd come to realize that if he just let Draco have some space he'd eventually calm down. It was clearly not the case with this breakdown. For the most part Harry was visibly in more pain than Draco had been and had been closed off from people for so long he definitely had yet to realize who it was that was giving him comfort.

Dark eyes glanced over to the food he'd prepared and decided he'd start with something simple. "You should eat something," he offered, voice soft and quiet. Not wanting to startle the boy he started to move in a soft scoot towards the edge of the bed, but desperate fingers clutched at his robes and hid his face further into his chest. Every so often he could hear sniffles and he was about to try again when Harry cried out as if in pain, holding him tightly. There was a silent plea to his actions and Severus could hear it as clearly as if it were said aloud. Even crossing the room would break the broken mass of a Boy-Who-Lived now. Holding him tightly against his warm body, soothing the tremors from his shoulders and shushing his after-cry hiccupping, he promised with gentle words to his ear that he wouldn't let him go. Instead, he summoned the food to him after stretched as far as he could reach to retrieve his wand from the bedside table next to him. With the unstable magic that had been around Harry just moments earlier he hadn't wanted to try it, but everything was fine after a good cry.

Easing the teen against the pillows was one of the hardest things thus far. Harry clearly didn't want to let him go, but the smell of good food so close to him now made his stomach gurgle with hungry anticipation. Severus decided the best way to go about something like this was to try something Draco once said he enjoyed when he was once sick with a fever and hadn't wanted to go to the hospital wing. He propped himself up against the pillows and slid the teen into the crook of his arm with the tray of food on his lap. With one arm wrapped around his waist and the other holding a spoon of soup to his mouth it was a long few minutes before Harry reluctantly opened his mouth. Chewing slowly and swallowing hesitantly he turned away from the next spoonful when it reached his face. The Potions Master didn't think his patience would last so long and was surprised when his voice continued coming out in a soothing manner. "You have to eat more than that, Pot – Harry."

Shaking his head and trying to get away from the food, Harry once again hid his face and curled around his stomach, trembling once more. There had to be more to it than what was actually there to see. From the sounds of hunger it was obvious to the professor that his student was hungry and that, with food there, he should want to eat it. It couldn't be that it tasted bad. No, he'd made the same for his blonde delight several times before and had heard several times over that it was delicious. There was no difference between those times and this time except for the person eating.

"Is there something else I can get for you," he offered, thinking that Harry maybe didn't like chicken soup. Even eating the bread roll would suffice him for right then, at least until dinner rolled around, but Harry wasn't interested in that either.

Dull eyes met his and he stared into the pained depths of the unstable teen. No wonder Draco felt so soft and protective towards Harry. His blue eyes had been the same once, though these were clearly worse. He waited as the thin mouth opened, but when no words came out he began to seriously doubt if Harry could be saved by that point. Were Draco and him too late to reach out to the boy? Had he truly gone too far for the teen to be able to reach out and grab their hands? "I can't." Quiet, even softer then Severus' words, but the professor heard them in the silence of the room. Urging him to explain in the gentlest of ways, he waited with his patience, knowing that that alone would be what it took to save Harry if the Boy-Who-Lived was still salvageable, but wouldn't he not bother talking then? If they were too late there would be no reason for Harry to try explaining why it was he couldn't eat. As he explained in his scratchy, underused and tear-filled voice what food began tasting like to him, understanding dawned on Severus. No one would want to eat with the taste of burnt charcoals in their mouth and immediately he felt his heart go out to the boy, the same protectiveness that Draco had already acquired only two hours earlier. Nonetheless though, he couldn't let Harry not eat, but he didn't want to force him and make him sick with a taste his senses couldn't stand.

"Please, Harry," he asked, "You have to try, if just a few bites at a time." At the teen's nod, he tried again and watched painful bite after painful bite as he ate, face scrunched up and hard swallows before he shook his head, asking for a minute. _It's better than nothing _Severus decided and waited for Harry to give the go ahead. If someone, even Draco whom he trusted more than anyone else, were to tell him that one day he'd been spoon feeding the bane of his existence, James Potter's son, when he was seventeen years old he probably would've…he didn't know exactly what he would have done, but it would be pretty bad.

A slim smile made its way to Draco's mouth as he observed the scene from the doorway. He'd grabbed a quick bite in the Great Hall before leaving for the quarters he shared with the Potions Master. As he walked by the Gryffindor tables he couldn't help but hear the mudblood Granger mention something about Harry's whereabouts and he could only smirk at the thought that if she knew where exactly she could find him. When Severus saw him he made his way in and settled on the other side of the lone Gryffindor. Harry didn't seem to mind and as a yawn forced its way through and his eyes drooped closed he shifted and lay so his head was resting on the blonde's shoulder.

_I shouldn't sleep _Harry told himself though unable to fight the weariness making his body seem that much heavier. He feared the inevitable nightmares that would plague him and he could only wish that his insomnia had kept if just to keep the imaginary blood from soaking his clothes and crusting along his skin. When a soft hand combed through his unruly locks the fight against sleep proved fruitless and he quickly slipped away from the world of waking once more.

Throughout the entire time Draco and Severus remained on the bed. Not from force, but from the want of protecting the vulnerable teen in between them. In the short time they'd spent with him that day they knew that if Harry were to wake up alone right then the small bit of sanity he'd managed to cling onto with them would drift and fall away to the wind, shattering his reality. So they stayed, petting his unruly black locks and whispering softly that everything would be alright in an attempt to keep the nightmares at bay if just for this one time. They were successful and when Harry eventually did wake up several hours later he thanked them with a blush on his face and turned away, knowing he'd had to face his housemates and their questions of where he'd been all day if he wanted to collect the assignments he'd missed. Surprise was first on his face and then wariness when the Potions Master called back to him, slipping him a note with an excused absence into his hand and the promise that if he needed anything at all that he'd be there for him.

B R E A K

It was happening again. The people around the school were surrounding him and he felt his body become rigid and tense. It felt like he could scream out and no one would hear him, but at the same time it was as though all eyes were on him, blaming him for the deaths of so many muggles and half-bloods. Palms were beginning to itch with sweat and his heart was racing and not beating at all. Gasping for breath in the thick, muggy air of summer right around the corner, Harry wondered if he'd be able to make it through another panic attack. He hated these moments the most. Shutting out the world was horrible enough but when he was awake and panicking than everything became so much worse. Voldemort was coming for him and he'd already taken the first step into the front door. Grabbing his chest, Harry turned, forcing his way through students and not caring that they stared curiously at his huddled form as he hurried for the one place he knew someone would see him and not question his odd behavior. When he made it to the potions room though he paused, seeing the office door to Snape's quarters was closed.

Harry didn't want to disturb the normally stoic Potions Master, but his nerves were shot and everything was pressing in on him at once. The man did say anytime he was needed he'd be available, but maybe he wasn't expecting that time to come so soon. What would his professor think if he found out Harry didn't come to him in his time of need though? Would he even care at all, or be upset? _Disappointed, most likely _the green-eyed teen thought and hating himself for how easy the depressing words came to mind. If he was enthralled in something that looked important than he'd turn away and deal with it on his own; if not than he'd knock.

His heart was racing as he approached the wooden door with its brass handle, a snake engraved into the metal. With sweaty palms itching and shaky fingers he peeked through the slight crack in the entry way. Green eyes widened and Harry swore that his heart skipped a beat. The Potions Master was indeed busy, very busy. Snape was at that moment leaning over his desk, lip-locked in a very passionate kiss that sent chills down his spine. Lying face-up on the desk with a knee in between his parted legs and a hand up his shirt was none other than Draco Malfoy.

_They're kissing_ the teen thought in shock. _They're together!_ That one thought hit Harry harder than he thought it would. He was stupid to think just because Snape had been a little nice to him in his pathetic time of desperate need of affection that anything might've changed. No, even the snarky potion professor had someone special of his own. Everyone in the castle seemed to have a lover or significant other except him: the odd ball, the single one out. Harry Potter would forever be alone and he didn't care that tears welled up in his eyes at the thought or that as he ran from the room if he made any noise, or if someone caught him fleeing the dungeons at high speed. He was alone and he hated himself for forgetting. The encounter he'd witnessed hadn't just affected him in such a way that was painful, but also in a way that made him feel dirty from the slightest tenting in his pants. Not a dirty sense that he thought two men together was wrong, but dirty that he'd gotten it from watching a private moment.

B R E A K

Severus glanced up, thinking he'd heard someone by the door. "Did you hear that too," he questioned, removing himself from his lover. The blonde beneath him nodded, sitting up off the desk, frowning when a couple papers stuck to his sweaty back.

"Could it have been Harry?" His dark-haired partner stopped at the door with one hand on the door knob, giving him a look that clearly said he hoped it hadn't been the Gryffindor. Glancing into the room he did a quick scan with his dark eyes, finding in short time a stack of empty folders that had fallen off the shelf. Draco stood behind him as he bent to pick them up. "Hope it wasn't important, whoever it was," he mentioned, taking the folders from Severus to replace them.

Quiet for several moments as he stared at the open classroom door and watching several people walk by in the hallway, the professor finally looked to Draco and through eyes asked a silent question. The blonde was gone in a matter of seconds, his heart rate picking up as he too feared the same as his beloved Potions Master. He had to find Harry.

The elusive green-eyed teen was no where along the pathway to the North Tower, nor was he in the tower itself. Draco checked every empty classroom he knew of on his run back towards the Great Hall. There was one more place he could think of and he wished desperately that he was there and that Harry wasn't going to hurt himself.

He was there. Glasses sat beside him as he hid his face in his lap. Green eyes would no doubt be rimmed with red, irritated skin and dry tear tracks on his cheeks. He was there with his black, unruly hair and Quiddich defined tan skin, broken. Right then, as he stared at his back, Draco knew that his and Sev's fears proved true. Harry Potter had seen them making out on the desk, had been the one to knock off those empty file folders on his haste to leave, was the one who flew from the room and left the potions room door ajar.

Two steps was all it took to reach the distraught teen, two quick strides before he wrapped his arms around the shaking, trembling form and he whispered to his quivering shoulder in the quietest of voices; "You saw us." It wasn't a question and both teens knew it. Even Draco could see how this was such a sensitive topic for Harry. In his whole six and a half years at Hogwarts he'd only ever had one girl and she'd ended up using him to try getting over the death of Cedric, and everyone else was the same. People only ever wanted him for his fame, the title that would come with him should he ever choose to settle down. The name itself would only become more valuable once he defeated the Dark Lord. Draco cursed mentally, knowing now that him and Severus should've been more careful after they'd decided to defy the headmaster and start interfering. "I'm sorry." Whispered, soft and gentle, but enough to make the teen lift his head to look out across the water.

Shaking his head, green eyes narrowed. "No, I shouldn't have walked in to look. I just…he said that -." Everything was so confusing for him right now. Was it so wrong that he needed to talk and happened to find his Potions professor snogging on his desk? The weight was pressing in deeper as flashes of the brief second he'd seen them and he hated himself for his weakness. Even with his poor excuse of an explanation though, Draco seemed to understand. Wrapping pale hands around his shoulders in a half hug, nuzzling his cheek into his hair, he knew just what Harry wanted without the teen ever having to say anything.

"Let's go back."

B R E A K

Making it back to the room Harry was greeted with a cup of hot chocolate, extra marshmallows added, and an apologetic look from Snape. The couch he sat on was comfortable and he leaned back gratefully, taking in the musky scent of herbs that was his professor and the fruity lotion that was Malfoy. It surprised him to admit, even if only in his mind, that just sitting down in comfortable silence with the two people in all of the castle that wouldn't judge him based on his title as the Boy-Who-Lived and that made all effects of his panic attack slip away. He didn't have to think about Voldemort here. Didn't have to worry about how to defeat the dark wizard, or the death eater followers, or the next stupid thing he did or said would get into the papers because these two people in all the magical world didn't care.

Sipping on his hot cocoa he wondered briefly if he'd barged his way into the two males' lives, whether he meant to or not, and a moment of guilt passed through him. When long fingers played with his bangs he sucked in a breath and stared into the dark eyes of Severus Snape.

"Don't think like that," he said, somehow knowing what it was Harry had been thinking. "We're doing this because we want to. Because no one else could seem to notice." The teen looked over at Draco to see him nodding and he let slip a small smile, feeling his anguish and pain driven away simply by their consoling presence. Green eyes slipped closed and he enjoyed the calmness that was seeping into his limbs that had been tensed for so long, waiting for an attack at a moment's notice.

_I'm scared _he wanted to say and tears dripped down his tan cheeks, soaking into his shirt leaving wet dots behind on the cloth. Severus pulled him to his chest and held him tightly, swaying him back and forth gently as if to say 'I'm here.' Draco curled up on his other side, laying his head on his shoulder and wrapping an arm around his waist.

The three of them sat there like that for almost an hour before Draco glanced up at the relaxed face of the male sitting in between him and his lover and his heart suddenly pounded. "He's beautiful," he mouthed to Severus, who'd agreed quickly having come to the same realization a few seconds earlier. The blonde couldn't resist himself. He had to know if they stood a chance, but at the same time he'd didn't want to feel as though he were taking advantage of a person in desperate need of companionship. His feelings overrated all rational thought though and he pressed his lips to Harry's dry, cracked ones. The result was quick and wonderfully regretless. There were a few seconds where there was nothing and Draco was about to pull back and then the lips moved against his, kissing him back. Scooting in closer, practically half lying over the teen, he let his pale hands roam but being careful to stay above the barrier of the clothes. If Harry wanted more he was going to be the one to instigate it.

When air became a necessity, Draco pulled back and began to wander down his cheek, suckling and nipping lightly at the soft skin of Harry's neck. Severus was playing with his thick, dark curls, whispering sweet things in his hair that had the teen crying for different sorts of reasons. Not wanting to push too heavily, Draco stopped just as he reached the shirt line of his collar before moving back up to press one short kiss to his lips and then rested his head on the broad chest, listening to the increased heart rate.

"You'll be staying here tonight," Severus muttered, holding on more tightly to the tanned boy. The blonde Slytherin felt the corners of his mouth tug upward.


	2. Love Me

Cracking his eyes open, the teen looked around the room he'd spent the night in and felt another rare smile come to him. For once nightmares didn't haunt him through the time he slept and, though he was still hungry, he managed to eat enough that the pain of his stomach eating him from the inside out hadn't been quite as noticeable. He felt comfortable lying in between the two males who'd kissed and pampered him all night, always making sure it was what he wanted and how he wanted it. He found himself not wanting to leave the embrace they willingly gave him as they slept and a burn of acid streaked down his throat as he swallowed.

Voldemort. The one thing that made him regret the night he'd shared with both Severus and Draco. They'd told him they wanted him. They said they didn't want this to be a one-time thing. Both had wanted their love to be returned and Harry had agreed. Now, though, he wondered if that was even a good thing. His death at the hands of the dark wizard was inexorable and he hated that he hadn't remembered that fact last night, before he let things get carried too far. When he was gone from the world and the Dark Lord was terrorizing everyone left behind, these two were fated to hate his passing the most, blame him for what happened and take their pain ten times worse than everyone just because they had loved him. Just like his parents who died trying to protect him, Sirius who'd gone after him in the Department of Mysteries because of a stupid fake vision, and all the people who went missing every day because they believed a seventeen year old could make the difference against a psycho killer waving a deadly magic stick around, who'd been a fully trained wizard years before Harry Potter had ever been born. They would have to live with the thought that they had loved the failure that'd brought doom to the magical world, that they'd shared his bed and tried to comfort him when they didn't know what it was that made him pull back from the clean, bloodless hands of people who believed in him. Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Failed, that's what everyone would say.

A kiss to his temple made him shiver, curling into himself and hating everything about his life. There was a pause and then Severus' dark curtain of hair, framing his elegant, handsome face came into view with a concerned and worried look glinting in his black eyes. "What's wrong," he asked, long fingers petting his cheek and getting tangled in his hair. At his words, laced with concern, blue eyes cracked open and stared at Harry as well. Blushing, the teen looked away, unable to face the two males that had given him everything he'd ever wanted in just one night. _If only I could live…_

The night before had been amazing for the Boy-Who-Lived. The two Slytherins had laid him out on the middle of the bed, kissing every patch of skin that met their eyes as they peeled his shirt away from his chest and dropped it to the floor. Their clothes had followed shortly after, only their shirts came off in their want to make Harry understand that this wasn't about sex. It was never about sex. He'd marveled at their different features, finding no flaw in their differently built bodies but each were so beautiful in their own way that Harry wondered if he were the same way in their own eyes. No, he couldn't be. After his different battles with Lord Voldemort there was no way his body had come out unscathed. The fight in front of the Mirror of Erised had left permanent callous marks on his palms from where he'd burned Professor Quirrel. The encounter with Tom Riddle and the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets had left a nasty scar down one arm from where the humongous snake at sunk a fang into his skin as he was killing the beast, despite the healing powers of the Phoenix tears. The slice he'd created in the graveyard, using his blood to recreate his body had left a thin, white scar that stood out visibly on the tan skin. His fifth year had left two different marks, the scar that read 'I must not tell lies' on the back of his hand and then there was a piece of him missing at the loss of his godfather that no one would be able to fill. Those had only been the main scars on his body, though throughout his skin he could see the marks that were no longer there from injuries that had long ago healed from the different battles. But no, neither of the two seemed to notice his marred body as they kissed and worshipped him throughout the night and that was enough to forget who he was supposed to be if just for a few short hours. With that night alone he knew he wanted to live, but who was he to fool himself? Each time he faced Voldemort he received some kind of help that made him able to escape with a shed of his life left. No one would be there to help the last time he faced him.

Severus frowned, knowing exactly what was going through their new lover's head. He wished there was some way without actually erasing his memories that he could just forget everything for a while longer, to be able to be a person; just Harry Potter, seventeen year old wizarding student. Kissing him seemed to help, if only for the short moments it could last, but then reality would always coming crashing back on him. That's when the idea came to him that he would give Harry something that was sure to push everything away for much longer than any kiss Draco and himself gave the boy and when he met the blue eyes of his first lover he knew the Slytherin had come to the same conclusion. That night they would give yet another gift to the Boy-Who-Lived that no other had given him.

B R E A K

Moans of passion filled the room as Harry slid himself on top of his Potions Professor's thick, weeping member, slippery oils sliding down his thighs among other fluids. There was no need to allow himself to adjust as he lifted himself from Severus' lap and pushed quickly down again. The past few hours they had done little else than make love with brief resting in between each heated session. Sweat was dripping from their bare backs and foreheads, hair matted to skin like glue.

Harry used his hands and thighs as leverage to pump himself faster and deeper on the older man's hard erection. Normally he would never be able to imagine himself letting go so much that he whimpered and moaned so fervently that he felt even his voice giving way beneath the hard thrusts that met him. However, this was not a normal anything. The Boy-Who-Lived never imagined that he'd ever be in this type of position and especially not with any person that actually cared for him. "So deep," he cried, wrapping his arms tightly around Severus' neck and hiding his face in the sweaty crook beneath his lightly stubbled cheek. The sexy pants from the teenager only made the older man moved faster, angling himself so he continuously rubbed against the abused prostrate. "You're so deep!"

The Potions Master groaned, grasping the narrow hips of his young lover tightly in his pale, long-fingered hands. "Harry," he sighed breathily. "I can't…." His teeth were clenched tightly as he felt yet another strong orgasm bubbling sensationally in his stomach and quickly moved downward at a pace that left his fingertips numb. His hips started moving deeper, taking complete control of the pace as the green-eyed teen was shaking too harshly to be able to do much more than moan constantly and grip tightly. He changed his angle again so he could press deeper into his quite willing lover, wrapping his arms around the slim waist as he felt the inner muscles around his cock begin to twitch, grabbing his length and releasing it shortly before grasping again. "Love you," he breathed into Harry's ear.

Crying out, the professor tightened his hold on his back and no doubt leaving bruises on his tanned skin. The words had surprised him to the point where he even could swear under Veritaserum that his heart must've skipped a beat but he was much too enthralled to do anything else as his orgasm tore through him. Pumping harder and faster as streams of white semen spurted onto their chests and Harry drooped limply on his teacher's chest as the fevered thrusts continued pressing deeply inside him. Severus ground his hips against Harry's, groaning loudly as the muscles contracted with enough strength to suffocate his engorged cock that was no doubt coating the insides with his own thick precum. He pressed deeper and then suddenly stilled, releasing his own burning cum into the spent, willing body. Harry cried out, his arms shaking from the tense muscles, as he felt the warm spurts fill his insides once more and the softening member pulled from his loosened entrance and the Gryffindor enjoyed the feeling of the semen drip down his legs in hurried flows.

Neither was willing to move as they continued holding each other in the middle of Severus' living room. Both were exhausted, but felt extremely well as the euphoria continued to cling to them. Severus leaned over and let his body lay on the soft rug, holding Harry tightly to him as his eyes began to droop closed. The next time he would have to make sure Draco could join them, knowing his other lover would thoroughly enjoy their new lover immensely. After all, the blonde had always mentioned that breathy moans had always been a turn on for him, if they came from the right person.

"How do you feel," Severus asked, pressing a kiss to the mop of sweaty black hair.

Adjusting his body more comfortably, he shyly entangled his legs with the older and hid his face in the broad, lightly-muscled chest and blushed as the words from earlier echoed in his head. _Love you…_ He moaned lightly as his muscles continued to throb from hours upon hours of love-making. "Sore," he decided. "Delightfully sore."

A soft smile pulled at the corners of the surly Potions Master's usually downturned mouth. "Glad I could help." Sleep pulled at him, but there was something tugging slightly stronger and he frowned once more as he felt Harry shift and the clicking sound of someone biting their nails. "What is it?"

At the sudden tenseness in the younger, Severus assumed Harry thought he was being careful enough to not be noticed and a grin came to him at the shy nature his green-eyed lover was now showing after hours of constant moaning and sexy begging. "You….love me," he whispered, voice rising into a question despite the obvious way Harry hadn't wanted it to come out as such.

"Of course, love," he reassured, kissing the top of his head once more and stroking his arms. "We both do." He knew Harry would know he meant Draco as well. "Sleep."

"Why?" Quiet this time and Severus wondered if he should've heard it at all.

Sleep would have to wait and he lifted himself up, taking Harry with him. Petting his face and massaging lightly into his neck, the older pressed a light kiss to his temple. "What is there not to love," he asked. "Lovely eyes, a personality stubborn enough to not get pushed around but gentle enough to listen to reason. Mature to the point where even I wonder just how old you could be sometimes. There are so many things Draco and I see in you that it's a wonder you yourself can't see them. You're perfect for us. You're everything Draco and I can't be, but at the same time you're everything we could want." Pressing another, longer kiss to Harry's cracked lips he started to lean down again for rest when two words made it to his hearing that made his head snap back to the weary face of his green-eyed lover to the point of whiplash.

"You shouldn't…."

He devoured the younger, less experienced mouth at that point. Thrusting his tongue to explore the warm cavern and ignoring Harry's gasp of surprise. Severus pulled away only when suffocation itself was threatening to consume the both of them. "Don't," he demanded, voice harsh and demanding that green eyes widened and the Boy-Who-Lived actually cowered, shoulder shaking at the dangerous tremor that underlined the word. "I don't ever want you to say that again, Harry. We should and we will, you can't tell us not to now." With that he pulled the boy to him and lay back down, petting his back and hair until the breaths evened out and knew Harry was asleep. Only then did he fall asleep as well.

An hour later Draco Malfoy slipped into his lover's rooms and stepped into the living room, pausing for only a second to stare at the proof that he now had a second lover to care for when he noticed Severus and Harry curled up closely together on the rug furthest from the door. Smiling to himself he took the goose-feathered blanket from the top of the sofa and loosely draped it over their naked bodies, allowing himself an eye full of the green-eyed teen's toned body and how nicely he fit in their professor's embrace. His handsome, well-defined face softened once more and he took the two steps backwards to drop into his older lover's favorite armchair and waving his wand with two short flicks at the fireplace. The orange glow of the ignited flames danced across their bodies and the Prince of Slytherin couldn't help but stare for a while longer.

A book on the side table beside him caught his eye though and he decided to do something other than make his pants further uncomfortable. Harry better get plenty of rest then because the second he woke up…_Pounce would be the right word. _Smirking, he turned blue eyes to the first page. The words couldn't keep his attention however as his eyes glanced up every now and then at the two delicious forms entwined together on the floor. Worrying his lower lip and wondering if it would be ok, Draco dropped the book back in its place and scooted his bum slightly off the chair enough to wriggle his pants down. As quietly as possible he began stroking himself, moaning quietly as images flooded his mind of Harry and Severus moving together in the most intimate of ways: Harry riding his own cock while Severus watched them with his beautiful slated black eyes, or Harry jerking himself off while their Potions Professor pounded into his ass without mercy, and the toys he hadn't even allowed himself the images yet. He could feel his mouth water at the possibilities. Then, suddenly, he heard it. A moan that didn't belong to him paused his hand and opened his eyes to stare into Severus' and he smirked, a pink hue lighting his cheeks at the notice he'd been caught. "Sev," he whispered, swallowing around the tightness in his throat.

His hand was removed and replaced with his lover's hot mouth and he grasped at the long, soft strands, panting harshly at the sudden heat. Moans were no longer contained behind a bit lip and he thrust his hips up without shame, knowing Sev would be able to adjust to his movements after so long of his frantic movements during sex.

Harry blushed dark red, hiding his face in the blanket that had somehow been covered over them. _Did Draco see _he wondered. He already knew the answer had to be yes though because when they woke to the quiet moans on the other side of the room Severus had still been holding him exactly that same way that he'd fallen asleep. The thought alone was enough to cause his cheeks to burn from embarrassment and he sunk further against the rug and under the blanket. However deep he went into the makeshift bed it didn't make the loud, begging moans disappear and he wanted desperately to leave. _Perhaps he's too far gone _he wished and he peeked over the blanket, letting only enough space to see if Draco and Sev were too preoccupied to care if he stared. It looked that way so he bundled up the thick coverlet around himself and started to tip-toe towards the bedroom, hoping they didn't decide to move in there, and he held up the ends of the blanket so it wouldn't slide against the floor. He reached for the door handle and stopped, listening despite himself.

"I love you, Sev! I love you! More, more!" Green eyes snapped back to the armchair and he felt like crying. If he stayed…would Draco say that to him? _No! _He shook his head and tried to draw the thoughts away, but he only succeeded in coming up with more questions. How different was Draco compared to Severus? Would he get a pet nickname like he'd heard others be called around the school? He forced his eyes to focus back on the snake-engraved door handle and his hand shook. **Love…**__That's what Severus had told him. The Potions Professor had never lied to him before so why would he about that? _No one can afford to love you _the second voice in his head reminded him.

"Harry?" Green eyes looked up and he blinked any tears that might've appeared away before turning to look at the soft voice. It was Draco who'd spoken and blue eyes were staring at him curiously while black eyes were almost glaring, matching the voice he'd used earlier. A soft smile appeared on the defined features when he didn't say anything and offered a manicured hand to him from across the room. Both sets of eyes looked so different to Harry that he even found himself comparing between the two. He preferred the way Draco looked at him, but the Boy-Who-Lived had also put the look on Severus' by his earlier statement and he immediately felt regret weight heavily in his stomach. If he hadn't said anything than his Potions Professor would be looking at him with a gentle look identical to the blonde's beside him. "Come join us, Harry." The request was so sincere that it hurt Harry too much to do anything. If he took a step forward he'd be accepting the relationship for what it was and that the two men before him loved him enough not to care about his title. Would he be able to ignore his doomed future and the pain the two would no doubt endure when he was with them? But if he stepped away he'd be condemning himself to the rest of his life in solitude, no matter how short, after having a taste of what could be. If the choice didn't affect anyone's happiness but his own the answer would be easy and he'd walk from the rooms without a second glance, but he knew he wouldn't be able to wander through Hogwarts from now until Voldemort decided to attack watching the both of them and knowing what he could've had if he lived.

Apparently he'd taken too much time deciding because when he blinked and the world came back into focus Harry had just enough time to register that Draco was in front of him, eyes closed and moving closer with his hands resting at his hips and his own green eyes closed, accepting the kiss for what it was. For now, he would let himself dwell in fantasies.

B R E A K

The crisp morning air felt cool against Harry's face as he sat in the window of the North Tower. His heart was racing and his scar burned in pulses without a break. His borrowed time was coming to a close and with that he'd begun drawing away from Draco and Severus, or Dray and Sev as he'd begun to call them if only to his own mind. That was the decision he'd come to as he allowed Draco to take him while he sucked Severus off almost three weeks ago. He would ignore his future while he was with them, drawing away when the warning of his scar started, which was two days ago. He'd even played the 'I love you' game with them, his heart yearning the whole time. _But I really do love them…_ Harry knew that his actions were worrying the both of them, but that would all be short-lived. _They'll be grateful for what I did when I'm gone. _

The door creaked open and he didn't bother looking when warm arms wrapped around his shoulders and forced him to lean back against the Quidditch-muscled chest. Draco was the only one who came to find him here. If someone saw Severus hurrying towards the upper levels of the castle than they'd get suspicious about the rush and follow him. As students, neither of them could be caught, but all three were careful when it came to their relationship. The skin on his neck where the blonde rested his face was immediately wet and the teen's heart clenched at the pain-filled intakes of air. He'd never personally had to deal with an upset Draco, but the Slytherin had told him about one time where he'd been extremely upset that he'd cried all night. This was a whole new level for Harry and he wasn't sure where to begin. Guilt immediately consumed him as he suddenly knew what Severus must've gone through when he'd broken down in front of him.

"Why?" Draco may as well have shouted the word at him in the quiet of the tower, his soft words echoing enough times off the round walls that he could imagine the blonde punching him repeatedly while screaming the words.

It was true that in the time spent with both Draco and Severus, whether separately or together, he'd felt more alive than he'd ever felt before. He no longer had panic attacks or felt numb in the hallways, he found a lot more things to be happy about when having a bad day by just imagining the different times he'd spent with the Slytherins. He'd even discovered the answers to his earlier questions weeks ago. Draco was much louder compared to Severus and always made frantic movements, especially if someone gave him a blow job. Harry even found himself pleased when he got Draco to beg after he got the hang of it. Each of them had even given him the nickname of 'Ri, his heart fluttering at the sound of it on his ears.

There was no longer a point to his secrecy though. His two lovers knew immediately when he lied just by spending time around him and if he didn't give a complete answer Draco would be able to pick up on it. Taking a deep breath of the morning air and loving how he was too numb from the cold to feel anything but the shivers as his body tried to warm itself, he began. The blonde Slytherin listened with attentive concentration and stopping himself every time he tried to interrupt, to which Harry was grateful. "I didn't want both you hating me when I'm gone and this is the best I could come up with," he finished. When he turned back to Draco he expected to see disgust and prepared himself for it, but all he saw was hurt shock and then the rage kicked in. He drew his pale hand back and slapped Harry so forcefully that he would've fallen out the window if he hadn't held onto the stone. No sense dying sooner than he needed to. He certainly didn't want the last thing he saw to be the face of his angry lover.

"Harry Potter, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life and I've heard some pretty out there things!" His breath was in pants and the Boy-Who-Lived couldn't help remembering just a few nights earlier when he'd watched tiredly on the bed while Severus pumped in and out of the younger Slytherin and the sexy panting as Draco was brought down to a pile of helpless goo. His other cheek suddenly stung and he refocused to find the blonde had hit the other side of his face. "Stop it! That's not fair," he shouted, tears in his eyes. "You don't get to go into la-la-land while I'm fucking talking to you, Harry!" Tears? Those definitely weren't right. Draco was supposed to realize how logical Harry sounded. Why would the two Slytherins he was with want to subject themselves to pain when the teen became the Boy-Who-Failed? Shifting, Harry moved forward, wiping the hot tears from Draco's face, effectively halting his ranting tirade.

Green eyes stared with fascination at the water droplets as they continued to fall long after the blonde had stopped yelling. _Did I…make a mistake _he wondered. No, that didn't sound right either. Harry was doing this just so the two wouldn't be hurting, but that seemed to happen whether he did anything or not. "This isn't right," he whispered, clearly not understanding what was going on.

"This is what happens," Draco answered him, resting his forehead against Harry's. "You really didn't think relationships were that simple, did you, Harry? Sev and I care about you, we love you. No matter what happens to you we're going to worry about you, we're going to feel pain for you. You can't just go into a relationship loving someone and then distance yourself when you think things are going to go badly for you. Things don't work that way." At that very moment Harry wondered if he'd already died some time ago and this was his own heaven, but the pain in his scar proved otherwise. "Say it, 'Ri," the blonde demanded, holding his face and staring deeply into his eyes. "and mean it this time."

He opened his mouth, but paused. What happened to his plan? Had it really backfired so badly? Draco said they didn't care what happened with his fight, that they would've loved him anyway. Not aloud, but the words were said nonetheless. Could things truly end up that simple? That love like this was really unconditional. Green eyes suddenly lit up with tears and he let them fall. "I love you, Dray," he exhaled. "Both of you." Draco released a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding and then pressed a passionate kiss to Harry's lips. When they separated minutes later he looked into light blue eyes with gratitude. _They saved me again…_ "I want to be up here for a little while longer," he said, turning back to the school grounds and watched as the shadows of night gave way to the sun that cast everything with a bright light. Draco let him be. "Dray," he called back, knowing the blonde had stopped when the door stopped creaking before the thud of the latch going into place. "Don't tell Sev." It was an empty plead. Draco didn't keep anything Severus just like he didn't like keeping things from Harry, but it made the teen feel better that he'd tried to keep the older man from getting hurt by what he'd said too. If anything else, he'd also know that Draco would feel bad for going against a pleaded request when he did spill the beans.

B R E A K

Just as Harry had known, when he reached his Potion's class at the end of the day he'd been immediately slipped a small vile of cream with a note folded on top by Draco as he walked by on his way to his seat on the other side of the room. Reading the note first he felt a ball in his throat, finding that he just had to rub in a little bit on his cheeks and the bruises would go away quickly followed by a very long talk between the three of them when class ended. At the bottom was one word in Draco's elegant handwriting that told Harry just how sorry he felt for saying anything, just like he guessed.

When Severus entered the classroom one minute to the start of class he gave Harry a pointed glare that he knew was supposed to mean he was worried about him, but it would only be known to the three of them before he demanded for attention with a loud voice. For once Potions wouldn't go slow enough for Harry this time and, just like he knew he would, at the end of class everyone had been dismissed except for Draco and himself. Ron gave him a sympathetic glance, but the redhead hurried away before he too got in trouble. After the door had closed Severus waited nearly a whole minute before he walked up to Harry and hugged him so tightly that the brunette wondered why it was he could still breathe. "Why didn't you say anything sooner," he asked, though he knew there was nothing Harry could say that Severus couldn't figure out for himself in just as long as it would take for him to answer. True enough, a couple of seconds after he'd asked he held Harry even tighter. "Stupid boy," he growled into his hair, voice deep and rumbling against the brunette's chest. Green eyes closed and he felt the truth of the words ring loud and clear, knowing Draco was mentally nodding as well. "Of all the dumb things to say."

Smirking, Draco moved closer and pushed his weight against the two males, knowing they would let him fall as he leaned over. "He should be punished, Sev." There was a mischievous twinkle in those blue eyes that Harry had come to know as his 'sex shimmer' and immediately knew that by the time dinner rolled around he would have another well-eared sore bum after going through one of Draco or Severus' fantasies. They'd once asked him what Harry wanted to do, but Harry admitted that he hadn't really thought about anything he wanted to do when, in truth, the Boy-Who-Lived never allowed himself the pleasure of coming up with little fantasies since he didn't think he'd ever live long enough to play one out. Now, he might just have to amuse himself. "Punished, indeed," Severus agreed, having caught on at the same time.

Much to Harry's surprise he was suddenly picked up and carried over to Sev's front desk where Draco smirked, catching his wide green eyes, and pushed everything on the desk to the floor. Gasping, Harry turned to look at Severus but the Potions Professor didn't even look surprised by the action. It now occurred to Harry that the two of them must've come up with this earlier and briefly wondered if he should be worried or excited. The pressing bulge in his pants decided on the latter. He was laid against the cool wood surface and quickly dismissed of his shirt where one of them, Draco by the eagerness and quick-flicking tongue, attached to a nipple. What he didn't catch was the shared look between the two slippery snakes and he was flipped over and a black cloth wrapped around his eyes.

"A bad boy you've been, 'Ri," Draco hissed, knotting his fingers into his already unruly hair. Severus must've been the one to tear his pants and boxers off in one sweep and he shivered at the cool air and the immediate change in temperature from his warm pants covering his hardening cock to the cold desk. "We've devised a detention worthy of your horrible actions to rid yourself of us. A painful action in its own right that even if you did manage to succeed you'd still feel it." The scary part was that Harry believed it. He felt a nudge at his entrance and he whined pressing back against Sev's big cock. A kiss suddenly met his lips, harsh and passionate at the same time his oldest lover shoved deeply inside him. He hadn't been fearful of that part. No, he knew just as well as his two lovers that he was still loosened from the hours of love making from the night before, it was the next part that he was worried about because he knew that both of them had surprisingly nasty spells hidden underneath their handsome exteriors. Just a few nights before Draco had surprised him by using his own wand and causing it to vibrate against his swollen prostrate just enough to get him hard and weeping, begging loudly for release and nothing more.

Just as he'd guessed it was Draco who whispered the spell this time as Severus pounded mercilessly into his bottom. With his own desperate moans and breath coming loudly even to his own ears, hips pressing into the desk as he tried to get some friction against his own aching cock, he couldn't hear the muttered words and that was exactly what Draco wanted. In less than a second of his whispered spell and a quick swish with his wand he listened to the brunette's labored gasp as an invisible force squeezed his balls and he thrust against the desk even more desperately even though he knew it was fruitless. Smirking, the blonde kissed and nipped Severus' ear. "It's done, love," he whispered. The older gave a smirk of his own and sped up his thrusts, angling his hips so he pushed roughly against Harry's special nub and both favored the sudden yelp and constant moans that followed.

"Don't stop," he begged. "Oh gods," he shouted, moving against his hips. "Harder, Sev, go harder." They knew Harry would realize what was going on in a few minutes. When it was rough like this their young lover never lasted very long and Harry would come to see that he wouldn't be cumming any time soon. Oh, no, what their young Gryffindor hadn't noticed was that Severus and Draco had both muttered locking charms on the door just because they'd approached him. Just as they both knew they would, Harry was preparing to release, tensing up as he felt the lightening, bubbling sensation in his stomach but it never came and when he paused to think about it Draco pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Oh, no, Harry, love," he teased. "You aren't allowed to cum just yet and I've made sure of that. This is detention after all." It was at that very moment when Harry began to worry his bottom lip, but he didn't long when he felt Severus release inside him and the hot seed immediately began to slip down his thighs when Sev pulled out. He didn't even have time to catch his breath before he was shifted and Draco pushed deeply inside him.

It continued like that for hours, switching between both Slytherins. After both had taken him they shifted to suckling, one played with his sensitive nipples while the other caressed his angry red cock as it too begged to be released. Though he hadn't actually cum, Harry was tiring as he lay across the desk face down with his knees on the edge so his arse was raised, moaning pitifully as two expert tongues licked and teased his abused entrance, cum still leaking down every time he tensed up and released. "Please," he begged, voice going hoarse. He'd been saying it for hours in intense pleasure, but this one was different and they both identified it for what it was: surrender. They had saved their best for last and had purposefully been stretching Harry for this very moment, unknown to the teen quivering with need beneath them.

Green eyes shot open, having closed when sweat dripped down his face from his hairline. _They aren't…_They were. Two hard tips nudged against his entrance and he tried to pull back, knowing he couldn't take another false orgasm when it came to him. "Shh," Sev whispered into his ear, waving his hand with a quick flick and Harry could feel the tension in his groin lessen as he felt the spell leave. "We'll take care of you, 'Ri." At first he didn't think he'd be able to hold the both of them when the Slytherins pressed deeply inside him, but when they did Harry had never felt fuller in his life and he could feel each rib of their cocks and each slightest movement the males made against him as they slid in and out in an even pace. It didn't take much for either of them to come, both exhausted and sated and satisfied and Harry didn't think he'd ever be able to come again as his seed splashed across the wood surface of the desk and he didn't even care if Sev made him clean it off later. As it was though, when they slid out and Sev picked him in his strong arms and wrapped him in his discarded cloak to keep the threatening chill of the dungeons away from his heated skin. As he was carried away he heard Draco mutter a cleaning spell and all the papers and trinkets that had been dropped carelessly on the floor hours before rose and stacked themselves neatly on the clean desk. He smiled and snuggled into Severus' chest, letting himself be loved without regret.

B R E A K

True to Draco's words Harry felt his punishment the next day and was grateful that it was a Saturday because he wouldn't leave the bed and he refused to take a potion to take the pleasant ache away, or he planned to but as it turned out neither of the Slytherins offered one to him. The next day he woke early to his scar paining him. He still felt a pleasant throb in his arse, but it had diminished enough that he could walk without flinching. He was sandwiched between the very male bodies on the bed, the duvet had shifted in their nighttime movements and now hardly covered either of their hips. The blood behind his scar pulsed noticeably once more and he knew why it was that the enchanted window behind the dark green curtain didn't glow from the sunlight. _He's here…_

Carefully, he untangled himself from the arms at his waist and hair, slipping from the bed and dressing silently. He wanted to turn and walk away, to face his destiny as he had prepared for it, but when he gave his two lovers a final look goodbye he felt tears prick at his eyes. He wanted to live. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with the two men that had given him everything. He'd wanted to hold them and kiss them more. Talk to them more. Find out more about them. Harry had wanted to fly with them. But he couldn't do any of those things anymore and his heart broke as he fled the room in the quietest possible way, sobbing and biting his lip and he ran towards the Great Hall. He thought he'd been prepared to die, but now he was more scared than he ever remembered feeling before. Scared to leave behind the only people who'd seen Harry Potter as he was.

The Quidditch Pitch was covered with black-cloaked Death Eaters and one crazed maniac who went by the name of lord. His heart froze up and he clutched at the wand buried in his pockets and his fingers scraped a folded piece of paper. Tears welled up in his eyes again and he knew it was the note from his mock-detention session with Sev and Dray. _Why_ he pleaded, wanting to scream the word aloud but no longer felt brave enough. Lord Voldemort laughed as they saw his rival shiver and took it as a sign of fear when he raised his wand and hissed out the same words that had ruthlessly taken the lives of so many others including his parents. It seemed fitting that the very spell Harry was famous for surviving would be the one to finish him off in the end. In the second that the eerie green light raced for him, Harry held his wand tightly enough to nearly break it in two as memories piled on top of him.

**"It's so good, 'Ri! Harder, deeper!"**

**"I love you, Harry."**

**"We're going to eat breakfast in Sev's rooms today, 'Ri. I'm so tired of staring at you from across the hall and can't even touch you."**

**"Stupid boy!" **

**"Take me, Harry. Merlin, please, take me hard!" **

**"You like that, 'Ri? You taste so good I just can't help myself." **

**"We want you to live, Harry. Why is that so hard for you to see?" **

**"Say it, Harry! Say it and mean it!" **

"I love you both." Green eyes hardened and he stared at the green light racing towards him. He didn't care right then that the whole school was piling at the doors to see the long-awaited battle. He didn't care that some of the teachers were racing forward to help him. He didn't care that Severus was one of the teachers who couldn't come to his aid. If anything, he was glad he wasn't going to be involved, the same with Draco who was kicking against Severus' hold as he attempted to race toward him, calling out his name desperately. No, all he cared about in that single moment was living long enough to be able to tell his handsome Slytherins just how much he loved them. He lifted his wand, grasping it tightly should his sweaty palm make it harder to hold and glared at the one person in all the world who deserved to be hated as much as Harry despised him right then. "I want to live."

B R E A K

Draco felt all the blood in his face leave him when the explosion of green and red mixed and he cried out when Harry's form was obscured. Severus also went limp next to him and they, along with most of the students, dropped to their knees and wept. Blue eyes refused to tear away from the clearing smoke, but all air left him as his heart raced at the sight of his Gryffindor's slim form silhouetted in the clearing residual magic….still standing. "Harry," he mouthed before all relief overtook his common sense. "Harry!"

B R E A K

The green-eyed teen smiled to himself as he heard his blonde lover calling. Yes, he would make it through this fight for the two people who risked everything in their attempt to be with him….to love him even knowing he might be dead soon and Voldemort would rule the wizarding world. _I won't let that happen_. It was a promise and he knew it. Just as if the last year hadn't happened at all, all thoughts of the fact that he would die at Voldemort's hands before the year was up. Everything was replaced with the doubtless truth that he would win and he would face Severus and Draco and he would tell them how much he loved them. _Perhaps_ Harry smiled, raising his wand at Voldemort's stunned face when it was clear he wasn't falling, _I might even mention that they're the ones who helped save everyone. _

B R E A K

The whole crowd ran towards the Quidditch Pitch as the stunned Death Eaters apparated quickly from the area in celebration, but none faster than the blonde Prince of Slytherin and the greasy Potions Master. In pure exhaustion Harry dropped to his knees but he forced himself to stay conscious long enough to wait for the inevitable strong arms that would wrap around him. Both hugged him tightly, just like Harry knew they would, pressing kisses to his face before anyone else got too close. He smiled at each of them, touching their faces for a few seconds each, before his limbs became heavy and he sagged into a broad chest. At that moment he didn't care who heard him, if anyone else could hear him, but he opened his mouth and said in the loudest voice he could muster. "I love you both." Sleep claimed him soon after and he couldn't see the tears drip from Draco's face or the proud expression on Severus' face, growing in his eyes.


End file.
